


Don't let go

by Shadowsof_thenight



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 20:57:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17271005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowsof_thenight/pseuds/Shadowsof_thenight
Summary: This is a little drabble about you (reader) being overcome with anxiety, feeling alone as you try to face your fears. You search for the one person that can calm you.





	Don't let go

Your eyes searched the room frantically. He promised he'd be here. He knew how much you hated being here. Clenchig your clammy hands, you looked to the woman standing next to you. She was still happily chatting away, not noticing the lack of interaction. It was hard to focus on what she was saying, you really weren't trying to be rude.   
Your heart was racing as anxiety washed over you. She would expect a response from you soon, but you couldn't hear anything she said over the blood rushing in your ears. Closing your eyes, you tried to take a deep breath. You could feel yourself begin to sweat and you were glad you wore a black dress. 

With your eyes still closed, you tried to listen to your surroundings. Taking in all the sounds that washed over you. Hoping for them to ground you, bring you back to the moment. Behind you sounded hurried footsteps and then an arm wrapped around your waist as a kiss was placed on your cheek.

“Sorry I'm late.” the tall blond figure said to you and you felt relief wash over you as you released the breath you had been holding and opened your eyes. 

You looked straight into those beautiful blue eyes that you loved so much. His bright smile made your heart skip a beat and you leaned into him. He was clad in a crisp black suit and his hair was perfectly styled. He must have had help, you mused. His thumb on your waist was rubbing softly, calming you. 

You turned to the woman next to you, a smile in place, “I am so sorry. I didn’t catch that last bit. I was a bit distracted.” you said, feeling confidence come back to you now that Steve was here. She beamed at the two of you and shook her head with a smile. 

“Don't worry about it love,” she said and with al nod to the both of you she walked off to chat with other people.

Watching her start up a conversation with another guest, you smiled. However she was, she must have noticed much more that you thought. Turning back to face the love of your life fully, you smiled up at him. Nerves were quickly settling inside of you as the stress was leaving your body. Or most of the stress at least. Events such as this one didn't suddenly fill you with ease. Steve wrapped his other arm around you as well and looked down at your face with an apologetic look in his eyes. 

“So sorry, practice ran late. Natasha wanted to make sure everyone knew their part for tomorrows mission. And then when I finally got to leave, traffic was completely jammed” Steve said, rushing the words out, before placing a soft, quick kiss on your lips.

“It’s okay, you’re here now,” you said and placed your head on his chest. Your heart was beginning to beat normally again and the rushing in your ears was gone. 

“I should have been on time,” he said now and you turned your head to look up at him, “This is you’re first time out after….you shouldn’t have been alone, not for a second,” he added, guilt apparent in his features. 

“And now I'm not,” you tried to reassure him. He was worried about you and it filled your heart with love. 

“I wont be like this forever,” you promised him after a few short moments of silence. 

“Don't worry about that,” he said his hand now on your face, thumb stroking your cheek, “This is perfectly normal”he said and while you knew this to be true, you still wished he did not have to worry his pretty head about you so much. 

You nodded and place your head on his chest again. You closed your eyes again and flashes of your last event played in your head like a movie. A fragmented movie. One that you could not turn off, no matter how much you wanted too. 

Music, dancing, laughing, chatter. You happily talking to everyone you came in contact with. And then the blast. People running. Scurrying to exits. While you were frozen in time. The blast had you propelled against the counter, hitting your head. You couldn’t move and the fire that had created the blast was getting closer, the heat unbearable, licking your arms. Then everything went black.

You opened your eyes again. Looking at the scarred skin of your right arm under the mesh of your dress. The pain was long gone, but your mind was still a jumbled mess. Steve seemed to know what you have been thinking off as his hands were making soothing circles on your back.

“We can leave if you want,” He whispered, his head bend close to yours. 

“No,” you said resolute, “I promised myself to stay at least one hour.” you looked up at him again. 

“You don’t have too. You've nothing to prove, darling.” Steve said, looking into your eyes with a sincere look. 

“I don’t want to stay this scared forever” you replied, voice breaking. Wanting to curse at the weakness it showed, you just shook your head. Steve had told you too many times that this wasn't weakness. Nor was weakness a bad thing. You wished you could feel the same. 

“You won't be, just give it time” Steve said earnestly. 

“Lets just try a little longer,” you said and he kissed the top of your head.

“Whatever you want.” he said. His hands still rubbing your back. You remained like that for a few more moments, looking into each others eyes. 

“Dance with me,” your voice nothing more than a whisper and you took a step back from him.

“ Yes please,” he said with a smile, pulling you towards the dance floor. 

Steve watched you carefully as you moved. He still felt guilty about not being at the last party. He had been on a mission and rationally he knew it wasn’t his fault, but he still felt that he should have been there to save you from all the pain that event had caused you. 

That night a terror group had placed a bomb in the government building the party had been in. The agents clearing the room beforehand had missed it. And you, and several others had paid the price. 

Three government officials had died and ten more, including you, had been injured. All of you still struggled with severe PTSD. A year had now passed and this event was to commemorate those who lost their lives. Which was why you had wanted to overcome your fear of places such as this. And Steve wanted to help you. He admired your strength in the face of this tragedy. You had taken the time needed to recover from your injuries and went right back to your work as a humanitarian.

“Thank you”you softly said as you swayed around the floor in his strong arms.

“What for?” Steve wondered, pulled back from his thoughts by the sound of your voice. 

“Your patience” you said simply and his arms squeezed you a little tighter. 

“I love you” Steve said and you smiled warmly.

“I love you too!”you replied. He made you feel safe, always had. He knew how to keep most panic attacks at bay. 

But in this moment, sweat was still forming in your forehead and your hands were still clammy. It would be a while, before you were okay. You hated it, but Steve never rushed you. Or tried to push you into things. He was calm, patient and loving as he let you decide the pace of your recovery.   
And he never seemed to care about the scars that littered your body now. He simply loved you and you knew you were lucky to have him.


End file.
